chemo caps

7.19.11

It’s the middle of the year and alas, I’ve fallen off the path of my goal of one hat per month.    I am a bit disappointed in myself but hope that all of you will understand that the intent and good will was there, it’s just that time was not on my side.  Since posting about the most recent completed hat, I’ve learned that we are expecting our first child this November, so I have been quite distracted with a newly growing belly and swollen hands that do not take to knitting very well.  I hope to pick this project back up in the future and will post completed hats as they come to fruition.

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A couple of weeks ago, I received an email from the Knitforboston.org site and read about how there is a shortage of adult-sized chemotherapy caps (chemo caps) at places like Dana-Farber and the Maxwell Blum Cancer Resource Room at MGH, and it made me really sad.  I have a coworker who learned that she had cancer a few months ago.  After realizing that she would need to go through chemotherapy — and of course, that she would be losing her hair — I knit a hat for her out of some soft cotton yarn that I had in my stash.  It was almost summer time so a thick wool hat seemed impractical.  She was touched by my contribution and wore the hat to work several times and happily told people that I made it for her.  That made me feel real good inside, even if it only took a couple of hours of my time.

I don’t know about you but I have come to realize that I have a hard time putting my feelings of sympathy and sadness into words.  For instance, one of our coworkers’ son passed away in a tragic car accident a couple of weeks ago.  I cried a few tears after I hung up the phone when someone told me the sad news because I just couldn’t believe that something that terrible could happen to someone that I know, someone who is so genuinely kind and respected.  A few days went by and he walked in to the office on my floor and all I could do was say hello.  I wanted to say how sorry I was for his loss but it just couldn’t come out.  What if he didn’t want anyone to address the situation?  What if I said it in a wrong tone?  All of these thoughts are quite stupid, I know, but nonetheless I struggle with expressing my true feelings during times like that.  I struggle with writing sentiments like that in a card, too.  I can’t say, “I know what you’re feeling” and then sometimes I feel like “I’m thinking of you” seems silly.

I feel the same way when I learn that someone is sick, especially with something like cancer.  When it’s something that is still unknown, or they’re not quite sure how severe the situation is.  What do you say?  Can anything you say actually make someone better?

Where is this all going, you ask?  I know, I’ll eventually get to my point here.

The other day, I decided to consolidate, sort, and organize my yarn stash.  And the end result was this tower of plastic containers full of yarn that I’ve gathered within the past five or six years since I learned how to knit.

So I put two and two together and came up with a goal for 2011: to make and donate an adult-sized chemo cap each month.

This will be a way for me to use the yarn I have to contribute to something good throughout the entire year.  It will be my way of saying to someone — a total stranger — “I am thinking of you and what you are going through right now” without using any words.

I will use my blog (and this page) to keep track of my progress each month so please check back often for updates.  I’ve already found a bunch of great hat patterns online and I think I will start with this one called “Bow Tie Cloche”.  I also want to try this one called “Claudia“, which looks like it would make a great masculine hat if you used the right color and yarn type.

If any of my fellow knitters feel up to the challenge: I would love it if someone knit a hat along with me.  If you’re interested in donating a hat too, please email me (candice@shortcakescraps.com) for a mailing address.  The more the merrier!

Wishing all of you good times, good fortune, and good health in 2011.

ETA on 1.5.11 — you can view my projects here.